Long Time Coming (You are a Runner)

I figured titling a post on my top 5 albums of the year had to be pretentious as all hell, and is there anything more pretentious in indie rock than parenthesis? This isn't something they teach you in school, this kind of pretension is what you learn from your peers.

Anyway, without further ado, the 2005 Top 5:


5. Tie- Beck Guero and The New Pornographers Twin Cinema.

Here's the thing about these albums. They are amazing, but they're by bands who've put out amazing albums before. Both the New Pornographers and Beck on their respective albums showed that they're capable of the same quality of work they've done before. For The NP, the Electric Version is the best pop record I've heard in years. Everyone knows from that from Odelay on that Beck was not destined to be a one-hit-wonder with "Loser." These albums make the list because they are fantastic but not because they're anything other than what you would expect from talented and right-up-my-alley artists.

4. Bright Eyes I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning.

I know, I know. I think Bright Eyes is a guilty pleasure to be consumed in private like hardcore porn, but this new album finally made me understand what all the fuss was about. It's melodramatic but appropriate to the times. If my complete conversion doesn't convince you, please note that Conor Oberst recruits country-legend Emmylou Harris to sing on the album. You're probably sick of hearing the Dylan comparisons but like Zimmy himself, Oberst is political, deep, melodramatic and if I must say, somewhat catchy on this album. If you don't appreciate "Land Locked Blues" with the lyric, "and the sidewalk holds diamonds / like a jewelry store case / they argue / walk this way / no, walk this way," then I have to wonder what's wrong with you. Making Bright Eyes #4 was a tough call for me; I hate to admit that Conor holds this much power over a generation of gen-xers and gen-yers, but if this album doesn't convince you, then we might need to hold an intervention.

3. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Clap Your Hands Say Yeah.

Like a Derby horse that sneaks up upon the favored filly, I wasn't sure what would be 5th on my top 5, until I heard this album. There's no way that Clap Your Hands beats the best album of the year, but it is a completely solid record. It's not something I ever expected to be as good as it is, but I don't question my decision to put it on my top 5 one bit. I read reviews of the band; I saw in Rolling Stone that I should check Clap Your Hands out, but not until I heard "Upon This Tidal Wave of Young Blood" did I understand that it wasn't just trumping a new Strokes or another New Wave band-of-the-moment. And now I say to you, picks 2 and 1, watch your ass, because Clap Your Hands is sneaking up. Holy F-ing Shit, how did I miss this band 6 months ago? Even after 1.5 listens you can realize that this is what is missing from your life. And, for all you doubters, listen to the aforementioned song, as well as "Over and Over (Lost and Found)," where singer Alec Ounsworth croons, "You look like David Bowie / But you got nothing new to show me." If you still think this band is nothing but a rip-off of David Byrne or that Brooklyn-based bands have gone the way of the Beastie Boys, then sir, I pity you. You are missing out on the most indie-rock-poptastic-album that literally catches indie-rock-poptastic-lovers off-guard.

2. Sufjan Stevens Illinois.

Fuck you if you didn't think a folk-pop album about the wonderful state that is Illinois wouldn't make my Top 5. If you seriously thought that, then stop reading this post, and please never read a god-damned thing I write ever again, because in all pretentious seriousness, did you really think that I wouldn't get this album. Sufjan, who has previously written about another magnificent midwestern blue state, Michigan, does a wonderful job of mixing real Illinois trivia with personal experiences. If you're not from the midwest, this album may not impact you in the same way it would a person who's never had his/her state recognized as anything other than a blip on the rural land between NY and CA. Just so you know, "The Tallest Man, The Broadest Shoulders..." is named after the tallest man on record who is from IL, and "The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts" is due to the fact that while the Superman franchise lives on, and Smallville continues to win over Clark Kent fans everywhere, there is actually a Metropolis, IL where you can find Superman memoribilia. Even if this album weren't poptastically folkish, Sufjan did his homework and like any good school teacher, that sort of recognition should be rewarded. Sufjan, you get a gold star and you should see me after class.


1. The Decemberists Picaresque.

Like the band's not-so-sophomore-slump-album's-single "I Was Meant for the Stage" lyrics, my answer to you as to what made this album number one would be, "Was there ever any doubt?" My god, let's think about this for a second, a genius third album with the smartest and best-writen lyrics 2005 has seen, could there be any other album that wins the number one slot? If you've read my previous posts, you know my thoughts on Colin Meloy; if you have not, it's needless to say the man could outwit me in Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, and probably even Monopoly. The man behind the Decemberists knows more than I do, but it's hard to feel bad when he knows more than you do and more than most people. The man is a god amongst men. On this album he sings about the agony of defeat on the football field (as, I imagine, only someone who has no experience actually playing on the field could understand), as well as being eaten by a whale while on a quest for revenge. I'm not going to pretend this album is for everyone, but I won't back down when I say this is the most creative and entertaining and smartest and best-third-album I've heard this year.

As I've prattled on enough I'll stop here. Know that the title with the phrase "You Are a Runner" alludes to what I consider to be one of the best singles of this year. Know that there are a lot of albums I heard this year and even perhaps purchased but never gave a good listening to, in order to consider them in the running. Kaiser Chiefs and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club I am looking at your albums in front of me now. Know that there are bands that I've heard but never understood as much as others did. Bloc Party and Kings of Leon, it is now your turn in the limelight. I heard a couple of good songs on each but not enough to warrant a top five spot.

But because of the aforementioned top 10 songs/singles, it's not to say these bands didn't earn a spot there. I consider singles to be anything catchy and not necessarily songs actually released as singles. So, look out for some of the aforementioned bands (Top 5 or not) to reach the best songs of the year.

I welcome any discussion, as I've likely missed a few albums this year (sorry, Casey, I never got around to hearing the new Andrew Bird), but I still stand my these choices. Oh, and if there's a Razzies of my 2005 album choices, it'd go to the new Coldplay. How mediocre can a band with such promise get?!

Anyway, that's the rant for tonight. Toodles. XoXo