Up Yours, God

In the immortal words of Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon, "Hate Him back; it works for me."

Once upon a time in a very remote land, this girl fell in love with Netflix. She loved it so much that she had 85 movies in her queue. Then, one day she rented Hitch. And the story went downhill. She never received Hitch. Netflix received Hitch back from her without her ever having seen the movie. So, she moved it to the top of her queue, hoping that she would see it soon. One night, she decided to stay up slightly past her bedtime to watch the movie. She made it an hour in when the disc refused to play for her. So, she tried it in her computer. It refused to play again. She gave up, and decided to try again the next night. So, the next night she wiped down the disc and tried again. Again, it didn't work. She skipped the chapter that was causing her problems, but to no avail. Finally, she resigned. Sighing in defeat, she reported the problem to Netflix. She sealed the disc and plans on returning it tomorrow. After today, she is never ever going to try to watch Hitch again. It simply isn't worth the trouble for a romantic comedy. And thus, the story ends happily ever after, without me having a heart to give to anyone.